Trust Tip #5: Set Boundaries

Trust Tip of the Week: Set Boundaries!

This week, I want to encourage you to set clear boundaries.

Learn how to say NO, and exercise that ability as needed to keep yourself primed for peak performance. 

I have the good fortune to meet many people every week in my training classes, and I can tell you that one clear mostly shared experience in our current work-world, is that people are doing too much.

I hear it day in and day out... People tell me,

“Sure I’m overwhelmed and overworked, but I “have to” say yes.”

Or, "If I don’t do it who will?" 

Or, "I just can’t say no to my boss." 

Or even, “My career is riding on this.”

Trust me, I have said and thought all of these things, but I also see the cumulative effects of such beliefs. 

This can become a trust issue… but how? 

• When we do not have clear boundaries, we run the risk of not following through. And obviously, when you don’t follow through, that can tarnish your trustworthiness.  
• Another risk is that the quality of what you accomplish will be less than ideal. 
• And yet another even more important risk is that your health and well-being can suffer.
• And finally, over time, those of us who don’t set clear boundaries can become resentful, and that resentment then negatively impacts the way we see others, and it can ooze out of us in our attitudes. 

But, we also know how important it is to be helpful and to perform at our best, and be reliable for our team members- so this is a bit of a paradox. 

How do we set boundaries in a way that allows us to maintain our commitment to our team and show up fully, but also take care of ourselves? 

I have 3 suggestions. 

1. Keep track of the way you spend your time, and the projects you are working on. Having the real data will help you do a “reality check” and it will also come in handy when you need to have these boundary-setting conversations. 
2. Make sure you and your boss are clear and aligned on your most important priorities. If you’ve had some good priority-setting conversations, then the boundary conversation should be easier. 
3. Finally, when you are feeling overwhelmed or are being asked to take on a new task, share your concerns, and ask for help. 

Try saying this, “I appreciate your trust in me, and I want to be sure I can follow through if I say yes to this. Right now, here are the other important things on my full agenda. Which of these is less important than this new task we are talking about? Because one of these things will need to be delayed if I say yes to this new request. Can you help me evaluate these priorities?" 

I spend a lot of time “over-working” and I know first hand the temptation to do more, and the cost of not setting clear boundaries. 

How you do it must work for you and obviously, it helps if you have a proactive and helpful approach. 

But just know that when you fail to set appropriate boundaries, you and others around you will pay the price. 

Don’t let that happen!

Creating a happy, high-energy workplace only happens with a foundation of trust and strong relationships that honor the needs of all.

Thanks for listening! 

Now go be a trust builder!