This week, I want to encourage you to Examine Your Core Assumptions about people, relationships, and “basic goodness”
Let me explain…
I believe that people are good, kind, and generous-hearted at their core. And, that when we are in a good space, our natural tendency is to listen, and give, and connect.
The problem is that often we are NOT in that natural state.
Instead, most of the time, most of us are operating in a reactionary or habitual way to the people and circumstances around us.
We develop all kinds of protective mechanisms and defensive habits in an attempt to keep ourselves safe… and we operate in the world, NOT as the kind, generous, open-hearted people that we are by nature, but as the defensive, reactionary people we have become as a result of the many circumstances we face.
Why is this important?
For me, believing that people are good, kind and generous, helps me see them differently.
It helps me understand that if they are NOT being good, and kind and generous, then maybe they’ve had a rough go of it…
Now- I’m not excusing bad behavior… I’m just saying that it reminds me to look at the big picture!
When I encounter a person who is angry or appears judgmental, or self-centered, or bitter, I try to remember that there is a kind and generous person under the surface.
Am I always right?
I have no idea…(probably not)
But I CHOOSE to believe this because it makes ME more resilient.
I CHOOSE to believe that people are good because it helps me continue to look for the good in them.
I know that when I am looking for the good in a person, instead of spending my time making a case that the person is nothing but a… FILL IN THE BLANK… that I will be doing MY PART in creating a better relationship and creating the conditions for trust.
I will be bringing openness and kindness and generosity to the situation.
When we have a fixed mindset about others that is NOT favorable… it can really set us up for failure. It can make it MUCH harder to find a way forward…
So- the relationships I’m talking about here, are your ongoing relationships like those with your family, your boss, your co-workers, your employees.
If you are going to be in an ongoing relationship with someone, it will do you well to take a good look at what you really believe about the other person, because those beliefs influence our actions.
And, if you find yourself in a fixed mindset that pigeon-holes the other person as a NOT SO GOOD person, think twice… because those beliefs will keep you stuck in a negative spiral.
Tell me about you: What are your core beliefs and assumptions and how do those beliefs serve you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Send me a reply, and make it a great week!