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THIS Leader Podcast

Episode 23: The Hidden Cost of Artificial Harmony

July 15, 2025

Is your team's commitment to harmony actually holding you back from making breakthrough decisions?

In this episode, I explore the hidden costs of artificial harmony and why smart leaders sometimes avoid the strategic conflict that could transform their teams.

Discover practical tools to move beyond polite agreement into productive disagreement that builds trust and drives better results. 

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Are you tired of meetings where everyone nods in agreement, but nothing really gets resolved?

If you're like most leaders I work with, you've experienced this frustrating cycle: your team discusses important decisions, everyone seems aligned, but implementation stalls and you're left wondering why smart people aren't fully engaged.

Over decades, I have discovered that the problem isn't that your people don't care, It's that they're avoiding the strategic conflict that leads to break-though.

In this episode, I explore what Patrick Lencioni calls "artificial harmony"; that polite agreement that feels safe but actually undermines your team's potential. You'll discover why talented team members hold back their best thinking and how this quietly erodes trust and engagement. 

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THIS Leader Podcast
Episode #23: The Hidden Cost of Artificial Harmony
20:31
 

"The goal isn't to eliminate conflict,  it's to make conflict productive. And when you give smart people a process for productive disagreement, something wonderful happens. They stop avoiding the hard conversations and start leaning into them."

Highlights from this episode:

In this episode, Claire explores the dangerous middle ground between unhealthy conflict and artificial harmony, and why smart teams sometimes hold themselves back by avoiding necessary strategic disagreements.

 

The Hidden Costs of Artificial Harmony

Most conflict avoidance comes from a good place—leaders trying to maintain relationships and avoid hurting feelings. But we've gotten really good at telling ourselves stories that justify our silence. Sound familiar?

  • "This isn't the hill I'm going to die on."
  • "She's already made up her mind."
  • "I don't have time to fight this right now."
  • "If I argue for my approach, this will all end up on my plate."

When people consistently choose these narratives over honest engagement, teams make decisions without the benefit of everyone's full thinking. Smart leaders start disengaging, bringing only 70% of their passion to work while holding back the other 30% to maintain harmony. The result? They agree publicly but resist privately, creating underground conflict that's much harder to address.

The Personal Cost of Chronic Accommodation

When you consistently accommodate and avoid, something insidious happens to you as a leader:

  • You stop investing fully in your role
  • Your career stalls because you're not developing critical leadership muscles
  • You start feeling hopeless and disempowered
  • The very relationships you're trying to protect actually begin to erode.

Building Trust Through Productive Conflict

Trust isn't built through constant agreement—it's built through moments of sharing, listening, and offering new perspectives while being respectful of others. People can't really get to know you when you're constantly withholding your real thoughts and opinions.

Four Practical Tools for Productive Disagreement:

  1. "Confront Reality" Questions - Create regular opportunities to ask "What are we not talking about?" or rate agreement levels from 1-5
  2. Formal Devil's Advocate Role - Assign someone to find risks and poke holes in plans, rotating this responsibility to make disagreement safe
  3. GEDI Decision-Making Framework - Gather, Evaluate, Decide, Implement, with the magic happening when you establish decision criteria before debating options
  4. Risk-Mitigation Planning - Build "What could go wrong?" discussions into every significant decision to reward people for surfacing concerns

 Resources Mentioned:

 

The Key Message: The goal isn't to eliminate conflict—it's to make conflict productive. When you give smart people a process for productive disagreement, they stop avoiding hard conversations and start leaning into them.

To learn more about my services and for additional tools to enhance your leadership impact, visit ClaireLaughlin.com and connect with me on social channels @Claire Laughlin Consulting. 

Until next time, lead the way!

 

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About your Host

Claire Laughlin, MA, Organizational Development Consultant

Hi! I'm Claire Laughlin, and I love helping leaders like you create workplaces where people truly thrive.

For over two decades, I've been rolling up my sleeves alongside teams and organizations, using hands-on methods that actually work (because let's face it - theory only gets you so far!). 

I specialize in teaching leaders how to engage their teams, helping managers become more effective facilitators, and showing people how to work better together.

I'm also a master facilitator for the Six Types of Working Genius® - a fantastic tool that helps you understand and leverage your natural talents.

When I'm not helping leaders like you build happy, high-energy workplaces, I'm enjoying a hike in the forest with my dog Fiona, spending time with my family or curled up with a great book.

Photo of Claire Laughlin looking at her dog

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Let's keep the party going!

We have tons of great episodes waiting for you! Check them out on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

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